Monday, June 30, 2008

How To Overcome Fear

Fear is the key
This is the story of friend of mine, that happened many years ago.While he was hale and healthy in his mid twenties, developed the habit of 'acquiring' worries.One such thing was, whenever he combed hair, a few strands used to fall off. He started observing closely, started spending more time in front of the mirror.A few weeks passed.One day, a 'virus' crept into his mind - he started believing that he may get bald shortly! He was unmarried, so his continued anxiety turned into fear that, with a bald head,he may not be accepted by the girl that he may be proposed to marry. So, he got down to 'tackle' this virus and started medication. By the turn of next 2-3 years, he turned half bald! May be that this would have happened in the normal course of aging, but he made it happen pretty sooner - mainly driven by his own fear (too much of medication and lack of meditation?). Egg-head apart, he also developed acidity and ulcers. Story continues,but we stop.A good example of how worry plays havoc on our mind. Fear is the key.

Most of us have this trait in-built, though with varying degree. And many of us would have erred in our way (one day or the other?) on account of this undesirable trait!. *Continued anxiety or apprehension accumulates fear in mind.* Anxiety of things to happen in future - in career, in relationships, health, return on investment etc., etc. *Fear compels the mind to backtrack/withdraw, make them think negative. *A person with fear in mind lacks confidence and is sure to mess up/ complicate things for self and for others too.

The anti virus for this worm is the 'mental preparedness' to meet the challenges that life presents to us time to time.This preparedness comes out of a balanced mind that is controlled by intellect (wisdom)which should be present at the time of arriving at a conclusion or while tackling a situation.

Tame the mind to keep calm so that it can prompt you to act in a discriminative way. Shun unreasonable fear fear. Give a cool thinking before acting, when we face disturbing events Fearlessness is the index of a 'cool' mind.

Source: From SMO Of The Company I'm Working For

Thursday, June 12, 2008

When Life Seems Hard - Look At A Tea Cup

A man who had just lost his job went over to a shop and with the last of his money decided to buy a beautiful teacup for his wife. On the display shelf, he saw the perfect cup and told the sales person to take it down, "I've never seen a cup so beautiful!" he said as she handed it to him and he paid the money..

The man had tears as he handled the lovely cup but felt sad as he looked at his empty wallet. Suddenly the cup spoke: "I have not always been a tea-cup," it said, "there was a time when I was just a lump of red clay. My master took me and rolled me pounded and patted me over and over and I yelled out, "don't do that. I don't like it! Let me alone", but he only smiled, and gently said; 'Not yet!!'

"Then. WHAM! I was placed on a spinning wheel and suddenly I was spun around and around and around. 'Stop it! I'm getting so dizzy! I'm going to be sick!', I screamed. But the master only nodded and said, quietly; 'Not yet' He spun me and poked and prodded and bent me out of shape to suit himself and then he put me in the oven."

" I never felt such heat. I yelled and knocked and pounded at the door. 'Help! Get me out of here!' I could see him through the opening and I could read his lips as he shook his head from side to side, 'Not yet'. "When I thought I couldn't bear it another minute, the door opened. He carefully took me out and put me on the shelf, and I began to cool. Oh, that felt so good! 'Ah, this is much better,' I thought.

"But, after I cooled he picked me up and he brushed and painted me all over. The fumes were horrible. I thought I would gag. 'Oh, please stop it, Stop it!!' I cried. He only shook his head and said. 'Not yet!'.

"Then suddenly he put me back in to the oven. Only it was not like the first one. This was twice as hot and I just knew I would suffocate. I begged. I pleaded. I screamed I cried. I was convinced I would never make it, was ready to give up. Just then the door opened and he took me out and again placed me on the shelf, where I cooled and waited and waited, wondering what's he going to do to me next?

"An hour later he handed me a mirror and said 'Look at yourself.' And I did,

"I said, 'That's not me; that couldn't be me. It's beautiful. I'm beautiful!"'

"Quietly he spoke: I want you to remember, then,' he said, 'I know it hurt to be rolled and pounded and patted, but had I just left you alone, you'd have dried up. I know it made you dizzy to spin around on the wheel, but if I had stopped, you would have crumbled. I know it hurt and it was hot and disagreeable in the oven, but if I hadn't put you there, you would have cracked."

"'I know the fumes were bad when I brushed and painted you all over, but if I hadn't done that, you never would have hardened. You would not have had any color in your life. If I hadn't put you back in that second oven, you wouldn't have survived for long because the hardness would not have held. Now you are a finished product. Now you are what I had in mind when I first began with you."

The beautiful cup looked up at the man who had just lost his job, "So don't cry my friend. You are going through the shaping and heat and painting I went through. But when the potter stops you will be lovely to behold..!

So when life seems hard, and you are being pounded and patted and pushed almost beyond endurance; when your world seems to be spinning out of control; when you feel like you are in a fiery furnace of trials; when life seems awful and terrible, try this: Brew a cup of your favorite tea in your prettiest teacup, sit down and think on this story and then, have a little talk with the Potter (Ur Creator). He knows what He is doing and may just tell you: "Not yet..!"

Monday, March 03, 2008

Say "good night" to all your worries before going to sleep

Any problem, physical or mental, if persists over a longer period, will make us feel stressful, tired and even sick. We are aware that the predicaments that life brings to us (some times our own making) are unavoidable and we must face them. Some of the worries/problems may persist over a longer period of time (days, weeks..... years). This may be normal, as majority of us may be sailing in the same boat!

But all that we need to do is not to worry about them or just live with them but learn to overcome them.

In any case, never let these problems disturb your precious resting time. This is important for your good health and a 'good morning' tomorrow.

So, while you go to bed, say 'good night' to all your problems & worries (hang them all to the ceiling fan and give them a nice spin!). Spend a few minutes in solitude, stay clam and let all your thoughts gets 'zeroed'. Once you zeroed all thoughts, you should get into sleep within half minute the head hits the pillow !! - so that you will 'dream' of a brighter, better and easier tomorrow!

Source: My Company Admin

Monday, February 05, 2007

Taking Pride In Whatever You Do

There is a post on Taking Pride In Whatever You Do in A to Z of World that tells a short story of a boy who takes pride in saying to his mother that he had been chosen to clap and cheer when he was expected to be considered as an actor for a school play.

There is a lot that we can learn from these few lines.

Tag: Positive Mental Attitude

Friday, February 02, 2007

Wake Up

You agree that life is getting too much mechanical, stereotyped and stressful - reasons : boom in all fields triggering hectic urbanization, a city blessed free of nature calamities (though we have man made calamities aplenty) good climate, growing urban population......! Traffic jams even beyond 10.00PM is not uncommon. There could be many reasons - one of the major reasons, I feel, is our own making - the changed lifestyle.

Since recent years, the city life is transforming into 'shorter days' and 'longer nights'. Many of us may not see the 'light of the day' throughout the weekdays! Obviously created by the loop "late to get up -> late to work -> overstay -> late to bed". Can't the golden saying 'early-to-bed-early-to-rise' be rewritten in our life? Do you think it is practicable in spite of the given scenario?

We may be inviting trouble for ourselves in the process of changing our lifestyle against the nature. A very late return to home alone could mean an open invitation to an uneducated, unemployed and underprivileged youths to 'share' the wealth that he can not afford to. We may be trying to bend the 'rules of the nature' (without foreseeing its repercussions). In the process of getting up late, we are deprived of that fresh, inspiring, rejuvenating ambience that nature promptly presents but only in the early hours of an every new day. Once missed, rest of the day can never be the same! Alas! one more day gone by and lost for ever. Why are we doing this?

Well, all living beings (so us) will need to go with the nature's cyclic occurrences, that is same anywhere in this universe - to get refreshed and face the new day 'fully prepared'. We take every care to eat good food (that we can afford), have a reasonably good accommodation, help ourselves with a reliable transportation (mostly own) and are definitely keen to lead a good, happy life, but hardly care to provide ourselves a well deserved & needed rest and that can happen best during nights, to dream of a brighter tomorrow!

Authenticated by our scripts (and proven scientifically) that early mornings are the most auspicious period to meditate (from any school of philosophy)that sharpens our thinking, our wisdom and hence our capacity to do a better planning for the day's activities. Also it is proved that most innovative & novel thoughts flow free in a tranquil mind that needs a matching atmosphere - which defaults to early mornings!!

So friends, let's wake up - wake up early in the morning and see how it changes our life for the better - Nature has set some (good) rules for good living - it is for us to go with it and reap the benefits.

Source: My Company Admni
Tag: Positive Mental Attitude Personality Development

Being A Human Being

We do not become human beings just by being born as human beings. It calls for a continuous process called 'transformation' - from that of a raw material to a finished (acceptable,reliable) product - I mean from a subtle body to a sensible, responsible,and 'humane' body. We should admit, in this jet age, that we seldom find time to sit isolated and conduct a qualitative measurement on ourselves - as to how much am I transformed? How good am I an acceptable or likable or preferable person? Where I am acceptable and where not, and why? and such queries...

Sure, all of these ingredients or qualities can only be housed in a 'humane' body. In order to transform into humane personality, we need to culture and train ourselves with good habits, good principles packaged with humbleness and flexibility and, do the periodic checks ie., practice of "self study". Transformation into a human being in true sense is an ongoing process.

Be humble and be humane.

Source:My Company's Admin
Tag: Positive Mental Attitude Personality Development

Being A Happy Being

The convincing meaning for the word 'happiness' is evasive and sometimes contradicting. What appears to give happiness may be either short lived (that makes us unhappy) or ends sour in the end. Some short lived pleasures, though give some feeling of comfort for a while, wouldn't stay in our mind (to save and retrieve that happiness later)!

This is because the true happiness is not fully explored or experienced. The truth is that true happiness comes out of actions directed for other's cause (with genuine,selfless motives) as compared to actions done for own sake.

The question "What makes us really happy?" lies in just undoing actions which makes us unhappy.

Complaining in life is one of the major causes of unhappiness. We all tend to complain in our day to day life - be it the social system, the Governance, the job,the boss, the colleague, the facility, the neighbor and so on...But we seldom realize that in majority of these situations we would have least or no control over them. While we should do whatever is feasible within our reach, at the same time it is illogical and unjustified to feel unhappy on such situations.

So folks, the first thing to start being happy is to stop complaining!

A cool soul guided by wisdom will reveal if the situation is really under our control or not so that we can act appropriately. Keep your cool, do your sincere best in your duty and be a happy being.

Source: My Company's Admin
Tag: Positive Mental Attitude Personality Development

Of being yourself!

"Be Yourself" is the famous catch word coined by the elite people. It amounts to identifying yourself, your own potential and applying the best thoughts and put to the best advantage and, finally, have your own 'stamp' of uniqueness/speciality in whatever you do or accomplish, in your profession (that is finally acceptable and recognizable).

To imitate could be disastrous (sometimes) as it curtails flow of innovative thoughts within you. In order to 'click' on this principle, you need to do the "Self Study" on a continuous basis, as improvement is an ongoing process. Knowing your weakness is your biggest strength!

Be yourself, Assert yourself and move 'chin up'.

Tag: Positive Mental Attitude Personality Development

Think before you sink into action

When people are pressurized with work load / responsibility, or confronted with conflicts from the other person/s, the natural tendency is to hurry to react ex-tempo. And most of the times we get set emotionally charged. Our experience show us time & again that almost all of the emotional / knee jerk reactions are error-prone and when acted upon with the others, it is bound to create hostility and defensive reactions instead of the point being understood. Such reactions may fail to meet the desired objective and end up in arguments resulting in stained relationships.

So how to unlock such deadlock situations?

We must learn the art of 'learn to learn'. Incompatibility is part of our life - let's accept it.

Accepting the own and forgiving the others mistakes/wrongs is the first key. Agree to disagree - considering genuinely that the other side also may have had its own valid point of view is the second key. Thinking before sinking into action is the other key. Only when we calm down, wisdom prevails upon and guides us to act. That will be the right (ripe) time to sit across and arrive at good,workable conclusions on a WIN-WIN note.

To calm down, change the environment that helps to regain the composure.

Reducing the 'breathing frequency' is one good way to attain composure - meaning, converting short breaths (that emotions produce in us) into longer, relaxed breaths. When you are upset/get tense over something, the first action before anything else, is to take a few long breaths. I am sure your response will be wiser than an instantaneous reaction.On an average we suppose to breath around 15 times a minute (will be very much higher when charged emotionally).This (should be,) can be, by practice,brought down to less than 10.This practice not only calms down our nervous system, but also presents us with all the wisdom to carry on with the situation positively.

Let all our actions be preceded by planned thoughts - applied with quality time. Cool mind carries us to greater thoughts and heights.'First think then act' is the secret of big achievers.

Source: My Company Admin
Tag: Positive Mental Attitude

Fish the Joy from within

All of us, in the process of finding the joy and peace of mind (for which we live), could (many times) find sorrows or discontent.The main reason behind is the belief that peace of mind (or a piece of joy) has to be procured/obtained externally. Some joy appear short lived and some joy may turn bitter in the end.Even it appears that whatever joy that we experience is because some one or something caused it to happen. A 'delicious' dish, a 'lovely' gift, a 'sound' sleep, a 'refreshing' bath, enjoying a comedy, and such - but behind all of these adjectives,the one thing that is common is you. The dish is delicious because you like that dish (or you may be hungry. Some one else may not even stand the smell !).The gift made you happy because it is given by your loved one or a friend close to you.You enjoyed that comedy on account of your sense of humor and so it goes on to prove...

In every aspect of your experiencing the so called happiness, you are the common factor and so implies that the joy is well within us and we help it to surface at situations for the reasons best known to us! The same is true with sorrow - it is for you to decide to feel happy or otherwise in your day to day situations and not the people or situations you intercept. So, peace of mind is our own choice and mental make up.

Proven that NONE can make you feel sad, the key for joy is now in your hands - unlock that treasure within you and allow joy to prevail at all situations and spread this beautiful aroma to others!

Source: Admin of My Company
Tags: Positive Mental Attitude

procrastination - The destroyer of your beautiful life

One big tumbling block in our path to progress is procrastination (the habit of delaying/postponing of things to do). I am sure most of us must have done this at some point of time or other in our profession, only to regret later. Invariably,we must have also realised that such deffered tasks either remained unfinsihed or finished 'too late'.

If it turns out to be a habit, procrastination can lead to other negative traits (habit of 'covering up',insincereity etc.) that are counter productive to our progress. The by-products of this habit could be stress, anxiety, disappointment,inefficiency, lack of interest ……etc.

Incidentally this does not mean that tasks should never be postponed at all. This is where our ingenuity and judgement are called for - to know what is important (and urgent) that should not be postponed, and what can be postponed within a safe and attainable time frame. We must take care to calendar all such 'consciously deffered' tasks and make sure we complete them well on time.

To lead a successful lie, get away from that habit (of procrastination) and get into the habit of doing things NOW, with the art of living in the present.

Source: Admin of Company
Tag: Positive Mental Attitude Personality Development Procrastination

Thursday, February 01, 2007

Change yourself

If you can’t tune out your wife or your peer or your boss who ever it may be, why not modify your behavior so you can work more harmoniously with this difficult person. This is a mature solution based on the startling epiphany that you might be partly responsible for the problem.

It sounds great, yet most of us have no idea how difficult it is to change ourselves. Others don’t believe they have to change. They’re content with themselves just the way they are. But if you’re up for the game, the process of changing yourself can be an eye-opening experience.

Start by finding out what areas need to be changed. There are three obvious information sources for advice: Yourself, family and co-workers. Let’s look at each one:

Yourself. While this is less than an objective source, it is still a good place to start. You’re bound to learn something, so get a pencil and paper and list things you’d change to improve the relationship between yourself and that person. It will be interesting whether your perception of what needs to be done jibes with everyone else’s.

Family. While spouses and close relatives may not be physically present at your jobs or at the place where you are facing the problem, they nevertheless represent a valuable information source.
Co-workers. The most objective source is coworkers. While family members are a potentially good information source, they may be unwilling to be totally candid, especially if the blame rests mostly on your shoulders. Co-workers, however, can be the best source of objective information.

Be prepared for brutal honesty. You might not like what you’re going to hear. No matter how smart and enlightened you think you are, no one likes listening to bad news.

Once you’ve gathered the information, the ball is in your court. After getting the true poop, you may decide it’s not worth it to change. It might require too much work and you may deem it an unbeatable battle. By the same token, you may learn that the situation is not half as bad as you thought it was.

Source: article "My Boss Is Driving Me Crazy"
Tag: PMA Personality Development

Thursday, October 19, 2006

Back to Bachelorhood

You feel the dust on floor while walking, you feel the dust mites while sleeping, you feel the change in your energy levels as you feel the change in your diet intake, you feel the irregularity in hours of staying at work feel a lot more changes and that is when you are back to bachelorhood.

My wife is in my native city Vijayawada. She went there for Diwali occasion a couple days back and I am planning to start tomorrow. So for these 2 or 3 days I will be a bachelor again. No home made food, untimely eating of food etc..etc. I am getting bored and I had to kill my boredom by staying late at office. Ofcourse it is not the first time she has been to the native place. Matter of fact I started my married life as a bachelor. After I got married in Vijayawada I came back to Bangalore to resume my work at office and after 10 days she joined me and by then I took a house and got the things settled. She did go to her native a couple of times before and my lifestyle comes back to a much hated bachelor lifestyle. I know...I know...People say bachelor life is the best. May be...but right now not for me. I really miss her a lot. Often I thik it is right what people say...they say "you know your feelings for a person when that person is away from you". She once told me "nenu ekkadikina velithe thelusthundi neeku...naa meeda entha depend avuthunnavo"(in Telugu, my mother tongue)...means "you realize how much you are depending on me when I go somewhere else". Yeap, she is true.

If I counted it correct we are married since 228 days but to me it is like jus yesterday. May be it is because days went by without bringing any bother to us. There were ups and downs but "I am not a quitter" because "she is not a quitter". mmm...sounds like I went off topic...jus sharing the feelings...yes, it is alll about feelings.

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